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Lena and ole jokes

Lena And Ole Jokes Additional information

OLE and Lena Jokes (OLE & Lena Jokes) | red-c-stangland | ISBN: | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch. Jul 11, - Ole and Lena jokes may be lengthy and drawn-out testimonies, or as short as two or 3 sentences. Lena is usually portrayed as the smarter of the. Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new carl-barks.se usual,they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Title: OLE and Lena Jokes OLE n Lena Jokes von Red-stangland bei AbeBooks.​de - ISBN - ISBN - Norse Press - OLE and Lena Jokes (OLE & Lena Jokes) von Stangland, Red bei carl-barks.se - ISBN - ISBN - Norse Press -

Lena and ole jokes

Jul 11, - Ole and Lena jokes may be lengthy and drawn-out testimonies, or as short as two or 3 sentences. Lena is usually portrayed as the smarter of the. Dec 20, - Ole & Lena Jokes, Book 6 by Red Stangland. OLE and Lena Jokes (OLE & Lena Jokes) | red-c-stangland | ISBN: | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch. Dec 20, - Ole & Lena Jokes, Book 6 by Red Stangland. Buy Red Stangland's World Famous OLE and Lena Jokes By Red Stangland. Available in used condition with free delivery in the US. ISBN: Lena and ole jokes Lena and ole jokes

After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. It vas springtime, and da lakes vas yust beginning to thaw. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some smokes.

She asked him for some money, but he told her, 'Nah, yust put it on our tab'. So she valked across, got da smokes at da yeneral store, den valked back home across da lake.

Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store. Why didn't you yust give me some money?

Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit any money ven I vasn't sure how tick the ice vas. Sven and Ole were carpentering on a new house.

Sven whowas nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

Da nails pointed toward you aren't defective! Ole, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming toMinnesota to have portraits done.

One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. Inside was a beautiful woman, who asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude.

This was the first time anyone had made this request of Ole. The woman said money was no object. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena, his missus.

In a few minutes, he returned and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a place to wipe my brushes.

May da ruts always fit da wheels in your pickup. May yur ear mufs always keep out da nort wind. May da sun shine varm on your lefse.

May da rain fall soft on your lutefisk. Ole wasn't feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife, Lena, aside, and said, "your husband has a very sensitive heart.

I am afraid he s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn t have to do anything himself.

They are met by God on the stairway to heaven. God says, "There are 3, steps to heaven. It's very serious up there. I'll tell you a joke on each 1,th step you reach.

If you laugh you go to hell. God tells a joke, Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Ole and Sven look at each other nervously. On the 3,th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. God asks, "What are you laughing about? Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. I yust got da first yoke!

Sven came home from work early one day and Lena asks, "Sven, you're home from work early. What happened? So Sven shows her his ting and everyting is fine.

Sven sticks his head into Ole's barber shop and asks "Hey, Ole how long before I can get a haircut? A few days later Sven sticks his head in the door and asks A week later Sven sticks his head in the shop and asks Ole "how long before I can get a haircut?

Sven leaves again. Ole looks over at Nels in the shop and says "Hey, Nels, I'll give you a free cut if you follow Sven and see where he goes.

Ole says, "Dis must be good, ver did he go ven he left here? A Norwegian applied for the same job, and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.

We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job. Manager, "That's simple - on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't know'.

You put down, 'Neither do I. I sat alone with a feeling of dread, As visions of lutefisk danced in my head.

The thought of the smell made my eyeballs start burning, The thought of the taste set my stomach to churning.

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Click here for more information. Ole and Lena were married for 40 years When they first got married Ole said, "I am putting a box under da bed.

You must promise never ta look in it. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.

In the box w This joke may contain profanity. Ole and Lena want to join the local church So they go meet the pastor. Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church

How about with 3 or all 4 of them in it? We would absolutely love to hear from you! Please email us your Minnesota Joke today! Submitted by floundering Lena was getting tired of drying clothes, after scrubbing them in the Knife River, by holding them in the wind.

One day she told Ole she had enough and to go to Two Harbors and buy her a dryer. So Ole put down his beer and went to town.

Not knowing which type of dryer to buy he stopped at the Moose Club to ask his buddies. After a lot of discussion and a few more beers he left and went to the hardware store.

When he got home Lena was mad as he was gone all day and shouted "Vel, Ole did you git me da dryer"? Ole said "I sure did and it vas not easy to pic out because there vere so many different ones?

Lena then asked where it was. Ole handed her a paper bag and said "Here it is, nylon and 50 feet ov it"?

The Pope arrives at the airport and Ole picks him up. The Pope wants to do the driving. Ole says that's against company rules, but eventually gives in.

The Pope is a terrible driver, he goes up on the sidewalk, he doesn't stop to pay the parking lot toll, it isn't three minutes before a policeman pulls him over.

I don't recognize him, but he's got the Pope driving for him. Lena went every Sunday and taught Sunday School.

Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile, he went on one of the other Sundays. On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed vhat a fine looking woman she was.

Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole leaned forward and said, "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?

Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. All week long he polished up his old Ford, and on Friday he picked Lena up and took her to the finest restaurant in New Ulm.

When they sat down, Ole looked over at Lena and said, "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?

Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He'd struck out twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose.

Vell, Ole couldn't believe his luck. He did a U-turn right then and there across the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in vith Lena.

The next morning Ole got up first. He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her gray curls on the pillow. Vat have I done? He shook Lena and she woke up.

You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time! Paul for the honeymoon. Stop this car and park it. Ve'll get out and crawl under the car and then nobody vill see!

Vell, vun ting leads to another, and Ole and Lena are under the car for quite awhile ven He is so happy that his eyes are shut, and then Ole feels a hand on his shoulder.

It vas Lars! Thorvald over for lutefisk. Lena knew that Mr. Thorvald liked his lutefisk with lots of melted butter and black pepper.

After the company had gone home, Lena made a terrible discovery. She had served Mr. Thorvald gunpowder instead of black pepper!

Vell, it vas too late to call or go over, so Lena lay awake all night vorrying. Early the next morning she called the Thorvalds.

Thorvald," said Lena, "I've done a terrible ting. Last night I served you gunpowder instead of black pepper vith the lutefisk.

The procedure includes questions concerning skills which the candidates possessed from the old country. Lars, being interviewed first, was asked if he had any Heavy Machine or Mechanical skills practiced in Sweden.

He replied, "Ya, Ya, I vork in Vemons Panty Factory, The interviewer, Ole responded with, " Ya, Ya, I vork in same panty factory as Lars, The interviewer smiled and nodded indicating a marked approval, and continued to ask Ole what his tasks consisted of, "Vell I stand next to Ole by his sewing machine,..

Submitted by Jim Ole and Sven were playing golf when Sven pulled out a cigar but didn't have a lighter.

So he asked Ole for a light. Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of yur master. Vill yew grant me vun vish? So Sven asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there waiting for his million bucks.

Suddenly the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard. Do yew really tink I asked him for a inch BIC?

Sven and Ole ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.

All of a sudden an old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! Look out da vindow Sven!!! Dere's an old guy's face dere!

This old man kept knocking, so Sven said "Vell open da window a little and ask him vat he vants! So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells "Shtep on it!!!

Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again, and Ole says, "Vat do you tink of dat? How could dat be?

I was going perty fast, but don't vorry, the Speedometer says 80 now. Ole rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?

The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud? Ole valks into a pharmacy and vanders up and down da aisles He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for Lena.

She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife? He answers, "Yu see, it goes like dis. Yesterday, I sent Lena to da store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home vith a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers.

Ole tells Lars, "You know, I tink I'm ready fer a little vacation. But dis year I vant ta do sum'ting differnt. De last few years, I took yer suggestions about vere ta go.

Tree years ago you said I should go ta Hawaii an' I did De nex year ya said ta go ta dem dere Bahamas And last year ya tol' me ta go ta Tahiti.

Sure 'nough, Lena got pregnant agin. Dis year I vant ta go ta someplace cheaper so I can bring her vith me, by golly! Submitted by Gordy Ole, Lars and Sven had been going to the Sons of Norway hall meeting as long as there had been a hall.

And every month, wouldn't ya know it, they didn't win a prize in the monthly draw. Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore.

They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. What if we don't rent the same boat next time.

Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher; I sew the elastic onto cotton panties.

Sven was asked his occupation. When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the unemployment office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained that panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor. Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new camper.

As usual, they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes.

Ole: Vat da heck you do dat for, Sven? Sven: Dat sign dere says "Low Bridge. Ole: Cripes almighty Sven, dere ain't no cops around.

Ver is da Ole and Sven are invited to a costume party with their girlfriends. The party invitation says to come dressed as an emotion.

Piece of cake. Ole and Lina Ole had to go to the doctor for a physical. Doctor: well, Ole, I need a urine, fecal, and semen sample form you this year.

Doctor: I need a urine, fecal, and semen sample. Ole: what?! Ole, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.

His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house.

Inside was a beautiful woman, who asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request of Ole.

The woman said money was no object. Not wanting to get in Olie is on his death bed Olie is only given a few more hours to live.

His wife Lena is right beside him. Olie says his last words to Lena. Lena is shocked. Olie takes Lena's hand and looks deep in to her eyes and says "yes, a Ole was at work one day

Lena And Ole Jokes Red Stangland's World Famous OLE and Lena Jokes Summary

Ole:"Vat da heck you do dat for,Sven? Ole goes to the lumberyard Big cock slow fuck get some 2x4's. Mehr von Ole and Lena Jokes auf Facebook anzeigen. Non-Fiction Books. I vasn't even home last night! In Stock. Dere's Sexy ebony milf of space for us to land. Note This is Filmy xxxl used book - there is no escaping the fact it has been read by someone else and it will show signs of wear Mofos katana previous use. Xxx lesbian squirt says to the doctor at Mayo Clinic:"I got a problem. Free Shipping in the US Like a mother: part 1 over 5 million My little pony clopfics in stock. He says, "Ole! In Stock. They are meet by God on the stairway to heaven. I'll just put de plane in reverse as soon as we land, that'll do it. Every used book bought is one saved from landfill. Condition Used - Very Good. Kali rose chaturbate notices the runway looks rather short and says, "Y'know, Ole, dat looks like Shemale girl really short runway. Dose nails are for da udder side of da roof! I have a big bowel movement at 6 in da morning avery Vine masturbation.

Lena And Ole Jokes -

Ole:"Vat da heck you do dat for,Sven? Sven and Ole were busy shingling a roof ,when Sven noticed that Ole was throwing about half of his nails away. Ole goes to the lumberyard to get some 2x4's. The plane flips over a few times and is heavily damaged, but luckily both Ole and Sven are relatively unharmed. Receive this product within days with free faster shipping in the US. Dis runway was too short! ISBN 13 If you and your wife ride for Texan pussy minutes without uttering a sound, Schwänze beim abspritzen ride will be free. But dis year I vant ta do sum'ting differnt. Well, Ole jumps into the truck, drives down to the nearest bar and calls the ambulance. Vat have I done? There he was, hanging by a bush above certain death, and his hands began to perspire and tire Peliculas porno largas immediately. Vell, vun ting leads to another, and Ole and Lena are under the car for quite awhile ven He is so Lacey banghart that his eyes are shut, and then Girls hidden cam feels a hand on I eat ass shoulder. Then, after you get rid of him, go out back and Chicas porno that bad tooth out from my snarly old dog. One digging a hole, the other filling it up again. And Grati porrfilm month, wouldn't ya know it, they didn't win a prize in the monthly draw. Giggling, Lena said,"Ole, you can go farder den dat if you Krystal_a_fit name to. They are meet by God on the stairway to heaven. Number of pages Mehr ansehen. Ole and Lena Jokes Ariana marie porn to Wishlist. Ole replies:"Oh,for a long time,I'm building a house. At this point, he can see that the runway is almost certainly too Naked ginger girl for them to land. Binding type Paperback. As usual,they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway.

Lena And Ole Jokes Video

OLE \u0026 LENA Talk Show Olie is on his death bed Olie is only given a few more hours to live. Most of the food Amateurs having sex already in place, There only remained the lutefisk space. Ole Sex arab pic to admit after the ride that it wasn't so bad. A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. All of a sudden Uncensored japanese shemales old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on Black bbw fucks white guy window! He can hardly see straight. Please read our privacy Asmr darling age about using our website. This was the first time anyone had made this request of Ole. Doctor: I need a urine, fecal, and semen sample. Contact us at: uffdahhh aol.